


WeakSpot

by PeterFlopker



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Dialogue Heavy, Domestic Avengers, Domestic Fluff, Everyone is friends because that's the way it should be, Fluff, Gen, Precious Peter Parker, Team as Family, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-09-25 17:04:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17125301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeterFlopker/pseuds/PeterFlopker
Summary: With over ten adults with concerning habits, not to mention their careers as Avengers, living under the same roof, it could get a bit hectic. Thank God for their Stark Anger Repellent.





	WeakSpot

**Author's Note:**

> This is lame, but I do nothing with my life and this is currently the only way I can feel accomplished in myself.

“ _ Sooo _ , who’s telling Tony?” 

“Not it.” 

“Not it.” 

“Nope.”

“I didn’t do shit, so I’m not telling shit.” 

“You can’t blame me, if I’m not here.” 

Steve pulls Bucky back from the collar of his shirt and looks at his team with the  Dad Disappointment they all know and loathe to see. 

Sam leans back on the wall with his arms crossed like the classic high school bad boy and looks completely unbothered by the absolute mess in the kitchen. Bucky pulls out a chair and sits on it incorrectly like the gay that he is as he eats a bag of chips, doing his best to look innocent. Natasha sits cross-legged in the middle of the kitchen island, drinking Tony’s Chateau Marguex 2010 right from the bottle and pretending she is at a beach in Hawaii with a pair of blackout sunglasses on her head. Clint mistakes the kitchen as a playground and swings on the overhead lamp. Peter tries to make himself look as inconspicuous as possible from his spot on the ceiling, hoping that his curls create a curtain that blocks his face.  

“I didn’t do anything, can I go?” Peter asks shyly, letting his right arm fall as if he’s raising his hand in class. 

“Sorry, Peter. But in this house, if one person gets in trouble, we  _ all  _ get in trouble“ Steve tsks, informing him. 

“Is this communism?” Bucky asks, misbelieving look in his eyes. 

“Aye, comrade.” Natasha slurs just the tiniest bit. 

“That has  _ never  _ once been a thing in this household.“ Sam says, pointing out the bullshit. 

“It is now!” 

“It’s not like Tony’s gonna get mad at  _ him. _ ” Natasha waves a lazy hand up at the boy on the ceiling. “Peter’s got the face of an angel and a heart twice as big as one.” 

“That’s right. Stark never gets angry at that kid. “ The long haired man adds thoughtfully between the crunch of his chips. 

“That is not true!” Steve doesn’t know if the redness of Peter’s face comes from his embarrassment or the fact that he’s been upside down for over an hour. “He was pretty pissed when I got injured last month. “ 

“He was pissed at himself that you were in medical for over a week after you almost got your arm chopped off. “ Clint debunked Peter’s claim and swung his light towards the kid to poke his cheek, laughing when he doesn’t even get swatted away. 

“I didn’t get my arm chopped off. It was still attached. “ Peter fumbled for a correct way of describing the way his arm was dangling away from his body. 

“Yeah, barely. You’re so lucky to have that crazy healing factor. Otherwise, you’d end up like me.“ Bucky waves his metal arm up at the boy, who waves back enthusiastically. 

“Anyway! “ Steve yells, catching the attention of everyone in the room. “Unless someone fixes this mess before Tony finds out because if he finds out then Tony’s gonna be mad and I hate it when he’s mad… “ 

“Because then you get mad, which makes Greasy mad, who then annoys Birdie until he gets mad. Then the tension makes Nat irritated enough to leave the Compound for a week, then I lose 99.9% of my impulse control and I end up in a bathtub full of milk.” Clint shudders at the memory. 

“That was you?” Peter asked with a broken expression. “I had to eat my cereal with orange juice. “ 

“Yeah, so, I ate mine with coffee. “ 

“You guys have issues.“ Steve says with wide eyes and a disgusted expression. 

“Says the guy who ate Captain Crunch out of his shield,“ Sam fires back, “And Crunch was scribbled out and replaced by ‘America’.” 

“Why would you do me like this, Sam?“ The betrayal was clear beneath the pain of the Captain’s voice. “We took down HYDRA together, why?” 

Sam just flipped him the bird and began looking through the pantry and cupboards for a snack to eat, sighing when he realizes that all the FunYuns were sprinkled across the white floors. 

“Why don’t we have Peter take the blame?” Natasha suggested to which made Peter choke a bit. 

“I like that idea, let’s not do that.“ He counters. 

“Tony’s not even gonna get mad at us for this, it’s basically an everyday thing. I’m almost positive he has  _ ‘Avengers be a pain in my ass’  _ on his calender at least three times a week. But, if he  _ does  _ get mad, he won’t be upset with Peter as much as he would be if he knew it was our fault. “ Natasha explains, taking multiple gulps of her wine afterwards. 

“Peter  _ is  _ Tony’s weakspot.” Steve ponders thoughtfully. The boy in question is aghast that his hero would turn on him like that. 

“Smart. Let’s do it. “ Sam agrees. Everyone nods their head as well, all except Peter. The boy loses the grip he had on the ceiling from the betrayal and begins to fall, unable to get a grip fast enough. 

Bucky quickly moves out of the way to save himself, and Peter doesn’t make it any further than two feet down before metal hands are under his armpits and catching his fall and gently placing him back on his feet even though he would not have gotten more than a scratch if he reached the ground on his own. The Iron Man suit that came from nowhere ruffles his curly brown hair with the same affection that only its owner could possess. It surveys its surroundings and sighs defeatedly before it turns to the audience present. 

“Cleaning duty. All of you. “ Tony’s voice sounds robotic and disappointed from the outside of the suit. The face plate opens and reveals the face of a tired and holographic Tony Stark, whose real body is clearly making his way towards the kitchen. 

“I didn’t do anything, Mr. Stark.“ Peter added, a nervous bounce to his feet. 

“I know this, and you’re amazing,” the man says fondly. The suit raises a hand and Peter high-fives it with a bashful laugh before jumping back onto the ceiling.

“But you! “ He turns to the adults again, hologram Tony’s stern face back on. “You little shits are going to clean this up and paying for all the damage from your own wallet. “ 

“But it was Peter’s fault!” Clint tries, jumping down from the overhead light and landing next to Natasha. 

“Don’t even try, Barton. I’ve got cameras everywhere.“ Tony warns, climbing up the stairs to the kitchen floor. 

“But you gotta admit, using Peter would have been smart. “ 

“Don’t use my kid against me. So what if I’m biased about him. Sue me. “ Tony scoffs and the Iron Man suit crosses its arms for emphasize.

“Can I?” Sam snarks.

“You could try, but you won’t win.“

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that.”  

Footsteps sound from the stairway and a second later, Tony Stark in blood and flesh appears. The Iron Man suit breaks apart piece by piece and each individual part shoots off to different parts of the kitchen. One piece purposely shoots through the coffee cup that Steve was about to take a tip from before attaching to the pantry handle. Tony walks into the kitchen with his arms crossed, eyebrows raised, and irritation on his face. 

“You guys suck.“ Is all he says. 

“Yeah, sorry about that.“ Steve responds, sheepishly rubbing his nape. 

“Clean it up.“ Tony gestures all around the area. Then he notices the drink that Natasha is quickly chugging down. “Is that my Chateau Marguex 2010? “ 

The spy doesn’t respond until every drop of the wine is down her throat and she hands the empty bottle to Clint. The man offhandedly tosses it to Sam, who automatically chucks it right at Bucky. Instead of tossing it anywhere else, the long haired man crushes the glass bottle with his metal hand and lets the sharp pieces fall to the ground. 

“Are you serious? That was a thousand dollars! “ Tony yells, scandalized at the lack of manners his team has.  

“Barely a penny in your bank account.” Natasha says, woozy but voice still as snarky as she usually would be. 

“Now we’re gonna have to clean that up, Greasy! Good job.“ Sam sarcastically comments. 

“Thanks, I try. “ Bucky responds cheekily. 

“Hey, Ms. Black Widow? “ Peter crawls right over the kitchen island and stands on the ceiling until he’s close enough to be face-to-face with her. “Are you okay?“ 

“I’m doing fine, Darling Child.“ She says fondly, gently patting his face. 

“Good job, she’s wasted. “ Tony pinches the bridge of his nose. “Barton, take her to her room. The rest of your assholes, clean this up. You interrupted Stark’s Fun Lab Time.“ 

“Is that code for something?” Bucky asks slyly. Tony just rolls his eyes. 

The richest man in the room makes his way back towards the staircase. He pauses just at the first step and looks back at Peter, who closes the freezer he just opened and runs on the ceiling towards him. Tony smiling when he sees the Stark Raving Hazelnuts in his arms. 

Peter jumps from the ceiling to fall step-in-step with his mentor as they make their way to the Compound Cinema rather than the lab, but not before waving obnoxiously back at the rest of the team. 

“That kid is a little shit.” Sam laughs when he sees the footprints on the ceiling, knowing damn well that he is gonna have to clean it. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I appreciate every single one of you :DD


End file.
